The What’s and Whys of Relationships.

We all have some expectations from life, from the people we love, from our work, from almost everything around us. Expectations are only normal; there is nothing wrong in expecting. Expectations are in fact a manifestation of us being humans and not animals.But, I bet there must have been at least one moment in your life when you would have decided that I am not going to expect anything from this person now onwards.

Girls do you remember the time when you were super excited about the first anniversary of your relation and you were secretly expecting your boyfriend/ husband to take you for a ride or a romantic dinner or make some really romantic gesture and when the day finally arrived, he didn’t even wish you… How hurt were you??

Guys, remember when you had a really long day at work and all you wanted to do was go home and take some rest, and you were expecting your wife to welcome you sweetly and serve you a nice meal but just the moment you entered your home, your wife started yelling at you and complaining about your mom.. God, how annoyed were you??

Almost every one of us has faced these or similar situations. What do we do in these situations??Get so hung up on what has happened that we don’t even bother to think about why it happened.

How dare he not wish me on our anniversary?? How could he do this to me??  How insensitive is she??  Doesn’t she see how hard I work for all of them?? Couldn’t she at least offer me some water first? These questions keep on racing through our minds all the time but not once do we think about the reasons of such behavior.  May be he was so stressed about his work or something else that the anniversary slipped through his mind. May be she has been holding it for too long and her patience has finally worn out.

Do these possibilities cross our mind??      No!!  Why??

Because we are so obsessed with the result that we hardly notice the path leading to it. We are more concerned about what happened than why it happened. This approach and not our expectations, is the root cause of all our disappointments.

Life is not only about where we are now, it is about how we reached there that is why life is called a journey and not a destination. So, Dear Readers, next time when somebody falls short of your expectations, take a moment to introspect, to think about the possibilities that may have led to this situation?  Before blaming others of not understanding you, just think how much do you understand them?Before fretting about how little you are getting, think about what you have given.

Instead of taming your grudges, take some time to communicate your expectations compassionately to the other party, be it anyone, you’re parents, your spouse, your friends, your kids, you’re professional / business contacts or your colleagues.  Give some time to your loved ones and pay a lot of attention to them. Keep on discovering things about them notice them and most of all keep on communicating your feelings and listen to their feelings.  When you take care of every step of the process, the result will take care of itself.

So, thank you somuch for reading this!!!!!! WISHING YOU PEACE AND ABUNDANCE…. Ashay Shah


You were supposed to meet your friend an hour ago but you are still stuck in traffic. He is waiting for you in scorching heat at a road crossing where there is no shade. You know he is going to be very mad at you and no amount of apologies is going to pacify him. What would you do when you reach there?

You instinctively would start the conversation with a big sorry and a long, boring, even yawning explanation of why you reached late.

Instead, the moment you see him, say “Thank you so much for being so patient. I am really grateful to you for waiting for me for so long in such a hot weather.And see how his expressions change and his anger disappear.  He would say, “It’s ok yaar, hota hai, I know how bad our city’s traffic is. It’s not like you kept me waiting on purpose, etc.”

Using a Thank you instead of Sorry saved you both from a bad face off and created a pleasant atmosphere. This is the power of a Thank You.

As Alfred Painter has rightly put it, “Saying thank you is more than good manners. It is good spirituality.”Saying a thank you is not just about being courteous, it is about your whole attitude towards life.  It is about bringing positivity in your life.

Saying thank you is about appreciating the worth of life, it is about being grateful for all things around you. Thank you is about taking pleasure in every little thing and seeking learning from even the worst of situations.

So how come we say Sorry for almost everything and thank you for hardly anything? Don’t we have anything to be thankful for?

We do have a lot to be thankful for but we take all of it for granted. In fact we should be thankful for the very life that has been given to us, we should be thankful for all the successes and the setbacks we have faced in our lives.

Take a minute from your life and think:

Have you ever thanked God for giving you this life? Have you ever thanked “HIM” for the beautiful world he has created for you?

Have you ever thanked your parents for raising you into the wonderful human beings you are today? Have you ever thanked them for dedicating their entire life for you?

Have you ever thanked your that best friend who is always there for you?

Have you ever thanked your siblings for holding your back?

NO!!!  In fact we are in such a sorry state that we are not able to appreciate even the good things happening to us, let alone the bad things.

Let’s take a pledge today that we will be thankful for each and everything that comes our way, no matter how trivial it seems. Even when the going gets tough, we will be thankful because that situation is going to make us better and stronger.  We will appreciate even the smallest pleasures of life and will be grateful for the worst pains that come our way. We will say thank you to everyone who has helped us even in the smallest possible way and also to those who have affected us in the worst possible way. We will replace out Sorry with Thank you. We will replace each of our complaints with a Thank you.  Because when you are thankful for what little you have, you end up having a lot more.

So, thank you so much for reading this!!!!!!


Ashay Shah


Effective Communication

You must have come across so many people who vouch by the benefits of effective communication. You must have also seen so many job descriptions specifying effective communication as a requirement. In fact in both our personal and our professional life, we hear about effective communication so much that it makes us wonder what is so special about it.

After all, communication is just about conveying a message to someone and we do it all the time. We talk to people, we call them, text them. Where ever we are, in office, at home, while travelling, we are constantly communicating either with ourselves or someone else.

Then what is all this fuss around communication that we have to arrange special sessions to teach effective communication to people.

That is what we are going to address today. If we look at the definition of communication, it says; “Communication is the flow of intended meaning from the sender to the recipient.”

It seems pretty simple but in practice it is not that simple because most of the times we underestimate the “intended meaning” part. We are so focused on what we have to say that we don’t even consider how it is going to be perceived by our listener and that is our gravest mistake.

What we need to understand about communication is that it is going to be effective only when the meaning perceived by the recipient is exactly similar to the meaning intended by the sender.

So, if I want my dad to gift me a premium phone on my birthday, I will have to convey my message in such a way that he understands it in the exact same manner. That is why, saying “I want a new phone” might not get me the intended result while as saying “ I want I phone 7 for my birthday”  will be much more effective.

The main difference between these two sentences is that one states my intentions clearly while as the other leaves a lot to my dad to perceive in his own way.

So, while communicating we have to be very clear about our intentions, we have to be precise about what we want our listener to perceive and this is not limited to verbal communication only.

It applies to non-verbal communication as well.  Our gestures, postures, our body languages are also an important tool of communication. So, we need to be careful about what are we conveying through them.

Waving your hands too much while talking is considered distracting by some people. Standing straight is taken as a mark of respect, etc.

Another thing that is substantial to effective communication is, knowing our audience. Who we are communicating with determines how we communicate. When communicating with oneself (intrapersonal communication) no filters are needed, no precautions are to be taken. But in interpersonal communication (both one to one and one to many), a lot of things have to be considered. We need to consider the physical, mental, social, emotional as well as spiritual aspects of the listener’s personality.

The appearance, age, profession, social status and maturity level of a person has a great impact on how we communicate with them. We cannot convey a message in a similar fashion to a child and an adult even if the intention is same.  Similarly the way of communicating with the C.E.O of a company and the peon of the company has to be different.  The way of communication in different contexts is also going to be different. The difference is going to reflect in our gestures, postures, our choice of words, our voice modulation, voice pitch, volume, etc.

When we need to ask a favor from a colleague, we generally use a soft tone, a low pitch and words like please, thank you, etc. Now if we have to ask the same colleague to finish a deadline, the pitch will be a little louder, tone little stern and words straight.

Other thing that we have to bear in mind is how involved is our listener. The more we involve the listener and reduce distraction, the more effective our communication will be. The key is to know when your listener is ready, take cues from their body language, and try to be as interesting as you can. Your desired result is going to be achieved only when your listener has listened actively.

Effecctive communication is no rocket science, All you need to do is be clear about your intention, know your content thoroughly, be confident, know your audience, use your body language appropriately, hit the right chord with your audience and you are going to be a winner whether it is your office or your home.

 So, thank you somuch for reading this!!!!!!


Life ka Funda

Have you ever wondered what differentiates a legend from a common man? What is that they have and we don’t have? What makes them a hero?

If you ever go through the biographies of people like Dhirubhai Ambani, Bill Gates, and Steve Jobs or study the life of leaders like Mahatma Gandhi, A.P.J Abdul Kalam or Mother Teresa, you will find one thing in common; they believed in something and dedicated their entire life to that belief.

You can call that “something” a principle, a vision, an ideal, a philosophy or simply a “funda.”

What transformed Agnes, an Albanian origin catholic geography teacher into Mother Teresa (now Saint Teresa) or what made Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi, an Indian origin Barrister in South Africa, the father of nation, Mahatma Gandhi?

The answer is a “eureka moment”, the moment where they realized what are they born for and their principles they valued the most, their “life ka fundas” and decided to dedicate their whole life to these fundas.

The realization that she wanted to help those who had none to help them and the firm decision to give up everything to make this funda her sole purpose of life, no matter how challenging it would be, transforming a school teacher Agnes into world renowned Saint Mother Teresa.

One fine day Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi was thrown of the train on the platform in South Africa. He got up realizing what would be is purpose. Rest is a story we all know. He only lived on two fundas 1.non- violence 2.non- cooperation. He gave his life and energy to it making India free of British rule.

No physical strength, intellectual power, educational qualification or material wealth is needed to become a legend or a hero. The ability to know and work with your strengths and your dedication towards it makes all the difference.

Remember,your “life ka funda” is what defines you. It is what the world relates in you as. It’s just like a brand name for you. It is who you are, it decides the purpose of your life. Discover your life ka funda and when you do, just go for it, no matter what people say. Overcome all the hurdles stopping you from being successful.

Always remember ‘Passion without Priority is Powerless’

This life is your only opportunity to make it humungous in any aspect of life, discover the true potential in you and create a revolution. Legends are those who are intellectual in knowing what they want from life and emotionally involved in getting what they want from life…

Create a blue print of your goal intellectually and be in the process of achieving it emotionally. The emotional attachment to the bigger picture will help you overcome the hurdles, problems and trifles easily. Chatrapati Shivaji Maharaj a history maker of the Maratha kingdom is a true example of this. He always had the Funda clear in his heart and mind ‘it does not matter what and how much I have, what really matters is what I do with what I have…

As you travel on your timeline let this present look like someone else’s past a few years from now. Rediscover yourself ones again, find what is that you are made of and made for…

So, thank you so much for reading this!!!!!! WISHING YOU PEACE AND ABUNDANCE…. Ashay Shah